Funny SMS

Agr kisi ne aapko rulaya ho
       Dukh dia ho
       Pareshan kiya ho
       To ap b usko rula sakte hain
       Dukh desakte hain
       Pta hai kese?
       ?
       ?
       ?
       ?
       Uski Aankh me ungli maar kar:-)

           ******

Charsi eyes donate karne gaya
After operation
Doctor
Kuch kehna chahte ho
Charsi
 jisko b ankhen lagao ose bata dena
Ye
 2
 sooote lagane k baad khulti hain. ()

           ******

Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above… So always Brush ur Teeth.

           ******

A Love Letter from BISCUIT MAKER- Dear Marie, Today is Good Day, U r Anmol for me… But U have Crackjacked my Heart, Bcoz I have a Little Heart, Now I m in 50/50 position…

           ******

Q: What did the gangster’s son
tell his dad when he failed his examination?

A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours
but I never told them anything.”

           ******

Nahanay Ka Tareeqa

|--
   \
   .*.
  '''''
 ' ;;;
' ('.')>, La La La
,<./"/ , ,
, _/"\_ , ,

Garmiya Aa Gai Hain.

Nahanay Ka Tareeqa Seekh Lo.

Sardi Main Banda Bhool He Jata Hai.

           ******

Be careful
when
a gal tells u that
she loves u
from the bottom of her heart.
For this may mean
that there is
still enough space
for another boy
on top!

           ******

Teacher : Which is more important to us,
the sun or the moon?

Pupil : The moon.

Teacher : Why?

Pupil : The moon gives us light at night
when we need it but the sun gives us light
only in the day time when we dont need it.

           ******

True bravery is to arrive home …
fully drunk..
a late night out..

and mom waiting with a jharu
in hand and you ask

“hey mom, abhi tak jaag rahi ho.”

           ******

Rohit?

Boy: I am not rich like rohit, I don’t even have a bid car like rohit. But I really love you!
Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about rohit..

           ******

Rule of boys:

“Phulo ki mahak ko churaya nahi jata,
suraj ki kirno ko chupaya nahi jata,
kitni bhi soni ho girlfrnd apni,
dusro ki girlfrnd ko bhulaya nahi jata..

           ******

Dil ka dard dil torrne waley kiya jaaney,

Pyar ke rivajon ko zamana kiya jaaney,

Hoti hai kitni takleef larrki ko pataney main,
Ye ghar pe baitha larki ka baap kiya jaaney

           ******

Mere dost tanhai me na waqt bitaya karo,

Kabhi kabhi mehfilon me bhi aaya karo,

Kiya hua jo toot gaye hen samney k 4 dant,
Phir bhi moun khol ker muskuraya karo..

           ******

Interviewer: Where were you born?
Sardar: Punjab.
Interviewer: Which part?
Sardar: What which part, whole body was born in Punjab.

           ******

Sardar was busy removing
a wheel from his auto.

A man asks sardar why are
you removing a wheel from your auto.

sardar : Cant you read the board.
Parking is only for 2 wheeler

           ******

Hitler says,
There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary

Sardar says:Ab bolne se kiya fayidah?
Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na

           ******

Before marriage:
Roses are red, sky is blue,
O my darling! I love you…

After Marriage:
Roses are dead,
I have flu,
don’t come near me,
Paray hatt tuu,

           ******

Boy friend is fun,
&
Husband is gun,

Boy friend is light of moon,
&
Husband is month of june,

Boy friend is tooty fruity,
&
Husband is qismat phooti.

           ******

Q: What is the difference b/w secretary & private secretary?
Ans:
Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR
&
Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR

           ******

Keep.....................IN TOUCH WID ME.....
OTHERWISE............................1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31 32 ALL..........UR TEETH WILL B BROKEN!!!

           ******

Husband: Kal mere khawab main ek larki aye thi. Wah! Kia Larki thee!

Wife: Akeli ayee hogi?

Husband: Tum ko kese pata?

Wife: Uska Husband mere khawab main aya tha!

           ******

Aftr robbing d Bank, robber 2 clerk: Did u see me robbing?
Clerk: Yes.

Robber shot him dead & asked d next clerk: Did u?
2nd clerk: No, But my wife saw u!

           ******

Wife:-I will die.
Husband:- I will also die.

Wife:-why will you die?
Husband:- because I can't bear that much happiness

           ******

             Romance Mathematics
Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance
Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Affair
Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Marriage
Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy

           ******

A Girl Checks Her Weight = 58kg .
Removes Sandal = 56.
Then Dupatta = 52
Now Coins Finished.......
.
.
.
.
A Boy In A Q Behind Her
Said
Ü Carry On"",
I Have Coins!

           ******

Aj Ke taza khabar:
Ik bath room main,
Ik boy na,
Ik girl ky jizm ko,
Hr jagah sy touch kia,
Pta hay wo boy kon tha ?
.
.
.
.
....LIFE'BOY...

           ******

Eik Baar Terrorizt na Burhia Ky Pas Bomb Rakh Diyaaa.
Log Chillaye
Budhiya Bomb,
Budhiya Bomb
Woh Sharmae aur Boli
Wou to Main Jawane Main thi

           ******

MBBS Final Exam

Question: Fill in the blanks.

If a lady faints, we must 1st check her PU_S_

Only few intelligent students wrote PULSE

           ******

Can we do romance in the evening today?

I'm in a good mood.
Just a little bit of kissing and biting.

Reply me soon!

Yours lovingly.

"Mosquito".

           ******

It's very easy
To eat sweet chocolate,
Speak sweet words,
Watch sweet dreams
But
It's very difficult
To
find a sweet person.
But I salute you.
That you find me.

           ******

I know you think I'm cute, I know you think I'm fine, but like the other guys take a 

number and wait in line!! 

           ******

Newton's law of Romance:-

LOVE CAN NEITHER BE CREATED NOR BE DESTROYED,
IT CAN ONLY BE CHANGED FROM
ONE GIRL FRIEND TO ANOTHER...

            ******

Tere Ko ek
Dikhawoo....

"1"
Ok, Dekha
Kal do Dikhawoga!

             ******

Once Rakhi Sawant goes to LIC Office.

Rakhi: I want to get my body insured.

Officer: Sorry Madam, we do not insure Public Property. 

             ******

Responses Of Kiss;

American Girl
Kiss Me Infront Of Everyone,

Indian Girl
Lets Go In The Corner And Kiss Me

Pakistani Girl: Jaldi Kro,
Light NA AAJAYE..;-)

              ******

Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here?

Doctor: You've had an accident involving a bus.


Patient: What happened?


Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?


Patient: Give me the bad news first.


Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.


Patient: That's terrible! What's the good news?


Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers.

              ******

Sardar to doctor: Jab mein sota hu to mere sapne me monkeys football khelte hai.

Dr: Koi baat nahi ye medicine sone se pehle kha lena.


Sardar: Kal se khaonga, aaj to final hai!!!

                

              ******

Santa:- Abe Banta tu yaha baitha hai…


Tere dost ki death ho gai hai… Tu gaya Kyu Nahi????


Banta:- Uss saale ne mujhe bulaya hi nahi 

              ******

Santa class me haans raha tha,


Ek ladka bola : Stand UP, kaun ho tum?


Santa : Tum kaun ho?


Ladka : Mein monitor hu


Santa : Te phir mein CPU hu!!!

              ******

 Aaj to bohot khush hoongay aap? 
. 
. 
Kiyon k, barish jo ho rahi hai 
. 
. 
aur barish main to 
. 
. 
sab hi maindak khush hotay hain!

              ******

A Lady to Doctor:


My husband has the habit of talking in sleep! what should i give him to cure?


Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak when he is awake :-)

              ******

    Mom, May I See My Photo-Albums


    Of That Time When I Was A Kid??
                                : 
                                :
                                :
                                :
                                :
                                :
  Mom : Yeah Sure, Let Me Login To Facebook... :D 

              ******

 Rahul Gandhi: Mom, aapki vajah se meri shaadi nahi ho rahi.

Sonia Gandhi : Kyon?

Rahul Gandhi: Har taraf likha hai, "Sonia ko Bahumat do"

              ******

Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai?


Executive (sar jhukate hue): Nahin sir.


Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho.

              ******

 A Pakistani army soldier walks into his officer's room.

To impress him, the army office picks the phone, dials a number and said "Yes sir, I understand sir. I will tell the Prime Minister. Goodbye."

Looking at the soldier he barked "What do you want?"
"Nothing sir." he replied. "I just came to install your telephone."

              ******

A Drunk man points towards sky and asks another drunk: Is it sun or moon?

Second Drunk: I can't say what it is, because I am also new in the town.

              ******

Laloo was going to a railway line to commit suicide. He was carrying a tiffin with her.

Sardarji asked: WHY ?

Laloo replied: If the train gets late, will I remain hungry ?

              ******

 A mouse was dancing & enjoying in a Lion's Wedding. An Elephant was surprised to see this and asked: Hey Buddy, Why are YOU dancing & enjoying so much? 

Mouse continued enjoying & dancing & replied calmly: You may not be knowing, but before my marriage, even I was a Lion.

              ******

Sardar Ji to Laloo: Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.

Laloo rushed home angrily.

After half an hour, he came back and slapped the Sardarji.

Laloo said: You fool, he is not my friend.

              ******

A young man was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor.

A Sardar Ji came running.

Sardar Ji shouted: "Laloo, your daughter Sweety is badly injured in accident".

Not knowing what to do, the young man jumped from his office window in panic to go as-early-as-possible.

While coming down when he was near tenth floor, he remembered he had no daughter named Sweety.

When he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married.

When he was about to hit the ground he remembered he was not Laloo.

              ******

Ik Haryanvi ne bank se car loan liya. Voh loan vapis nahi kar paya. Bank vale uss ki car le gaye.

Funny Haryanvi: Agar mere ko yeh pata hota to mein apni shaadi ke liye bhi loan leta.

              ******

 Samtu says: Koi acha sa kapda (cloth) dikhaiye.

Salesman: Plain main dikhaon?

Samtu: Abey hawai jahaz main nahi dukan par hi dikha!

              ******